scrive

subtlepersona

Sunday, December 17, 2006

To the world
hear me now
lioness with ember eyes
the dawn will break
with my roar
feel this flesh
seared by space and sun
limits of the sky
and bonds that lie
this is the body that knows none
touch of dark
in the way age knows
light in tenfold treacherous
to tip the scales, I slight in both
Hunt for me
I scour but famish never of hunger
rampant, fervor of life
my soul, my loyal traveller
Anticipate intensely
I will bare that which bares me
engorge upon the mass
succumb and I will become

Saturday, December 02, 2006

It comes again

Its that unsettling air of anxiety

I cant control it

the pressure builds I begin to choke

the burning in my eyes begin

I cant control the tears

its that moment of panic that a person like me loathes

Then the thoughts come rushing in furious

the same as they do before you die

and i try to escape and i try to get away

but that piercing noise starts

its me, Im screaming but no one hears

and I clench my teeth and i hide

I close my eyes and i bury my face in my hands

and I listen to my haven,

that familiar beat that rhythm

and I sit like that and wait for myself to become numb

and then its ok for now

It wasn’t that bad, it never happened

Until it comes again

It’s that nagging loathsome creature that sits at the base of your neck

The one that shows up whenever you’ve exerted your energy

Your desires subside to its control, your plans erased

And you sit there, bitter and filled with contempt.

There’s no stopping it, but you have a choice

Find something better than it and wish it away

Or, revel with its energy and make it your own

I don’t know how anyone could do the first when the latter is so appealing

It changes you, your body strengthens, your mind, your soul becomes fierce.

That familiar fire starts to settle in again

Until finally it begins to die

You’ve survived, your stronger for it

But your wrong, you know that

It defeats you every time, burrowing into your very core

But you dismiss it without a second thought.

Until it comes again.

I know it; it’s that drowning feeling

You struggle as each passing wave bombards you

Each turn of the tide releasing your precious breath

But you go on, there’s something inside of you that fights, it never ceases to give hope

But your wrong again, the next wave comes and you start to give

And then another and you lose your footing

The next wave will hit, it always does and you’ll feel it again.