to be without

I loathe what idleness brings...empty nights, long dragging days, mornings of self realization and all of this knowing that Im not alone but I can't help anyone or myself. That gnawing emptiness that once satisfied itself in the pit of my stomach now confidently nibbles upon the unpatroned intimations of my heart and the rationality in my mind. Its become quite obvious that Im alone and increasingly apparent that Im lonely. But what kind of companionship is it that I seek? I've friends who are available to me whenever the summer day beckons, I have company who will readily engage upon conversations of spite or of those better left for loose tongued nights, even those personalities which are greeted with simple acknowledgment warmly welcome a gathering of familiar faces. Perhaps I'm longing for the attention of another who would place all other forms of companionship at bay for a few moments with me. Is it the prospect of a honest smile that only humbles itself in presence of the owner's joy, or for eyes that never lose their means even while observing the momentous world that enthralls me? At this moment, my desire attends to a companion who would share with me comfort and intrigue despite the idleness that comes and goes. I ask too much in this place and in this time but I would take care to reciprocate this attention.